Ohne Dich
by Candy Apple Heart Attack
Summary: “Ohne dich kann ich nicht sein…” A closer look at the lives of those who have loved and lost after fate has robbed them of a precious gift. Char.death & spoilers. LightXL, NaomiXRaye, TeruXKira, MelloXMatt, NearXMello, MisaXLight, SachikoXSoichiro.


**Disclaimer:** Slightly AU. I do not own DN. These people did die in the manga, but the the events surrounding the deaths aren't exactly canon. This is is going to be a series of one-shots regarding the deaths of certain characters of Death Note and the inspiration came from a Rammstein song called "Ohne Dich" ("Without You"). This would be part one of the series, dearies. More to come sometime soon.

**Summary:** A closer look at the lives who have loved and lost after fate has robbed them of a precious gift. Character Death and immense sadness warnings.

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"**Ohne Dich"**

_**By Dale, from Candy Apple Heart Attack**_

_**1. Mit Dir Bin Ich Auch Allein: Light and L**_

Victory could feel so glorious, but not so much when it came at the price of something precious. The thrill of the conquest was there, but so was the ache of the loss, silently throbbing unlike the heartbeat of that which is gone forever, never to be regained, replaced or reborn.

Back at the task force headquarters, the tapping of fingers on a keyboard was still heard, as was the clinking of a coffee cup against a saucer. This did not unnerve Light as much; but it was the resounding tinkling of a spoon against a china cup that reminded him of the tolling bells that L had claimed he had heard before he died.

Before Kira had killed him, before he had allowed Rem to go ahead with the plan they had hatched so long ago.

Such a sound did indeed unnerve him and evoked bygone images and ghosts forever etched in his mind.

Such Images were more than enough to last Light a lifetime; images of the old that would prevail in a world soon to be new.

After having spent so much time with L at his side, willingly and unwillingly, Light had come to see the elder man as a companion beyond his wildest dreams – a mirror image of his talent and intellect, but an opposite in many ideals. L was a companion with a drive to match his own and a creativity that surpassed the limits of the comprehensible.

With L, those long and sleepless nights were not a wasted opportunity to rest, but more of a set of granted moments for their strange relationship to evolve and live a course of its own before it all came to an abrupt and early end. It was during those sleepless nights that Light had learned to desire and wish for L as his counterpart, his consort in the great, brave new world he would create, that he was creating. L could have been Kira's greatest henchman, but more importantly, he could have been Light's friend, his everything.

It was a pity L had not reconsidered and accepted what Kira could offer, but it was downright heart-breaking to lose him over a a rather small disagreement on the concept of justice. Light cursed whatever had gotten lost in translation – it had been the small details that had cost him a chance at happiness with his one and only friend. L had died simply because they had disagreed on the means that could justify their common end.

It would have been a perfect world indeed if L was still breathing in the warm circle of Light's arms, next to Light as they lay in bed. But it couldn't be because the detective was no longer reachable and life had long forgotten about him.

While Kira viewed L's demise as a slightly unfortunate but welcome development, Light had to differ. He knew his head was silent, but the sounds of a tell-tale heart pounded on the inside of his skull, bringing a different memory of L with each heartbeat.

More than the lover he had lost, he had lost his friend. The one friend he had ever bothered to truly interact with, even if the friendship had been a façade at the beginning and might have still been at the end. The proximity, the circumstances, the intellectual level and their common goal had brought them together and drawn them closer than any bond of marriage or family ever could.

It had been a perfect bond between perfect strangers and it had strengthened as time had gone by and as they learned new things about each other. Wherever life took one of them, the other would indubitably follow; but unlike the handcuffs they had once worn, they couldn't just sever their ties with a lock and a key. Light understood this, but Kira did not. He saw L's death as the penultimate victory and a chance at a long, picture-perfect life as the god of the new world, but Light could feel deep inside that it wouldn't be long until his bound heart gave up and decided to go wherever his mate's heart had gone.

A tear escaped from Light's eyes as he stood over the nameless tomb of his friend. He crushed a sugar cube in his closed fist and sprinkled he crystals over the mound of earth as if he was proclaiming a mournful prayer.

"It's lonely at the top, Koi. I miss you so much."

Light dug another sugar cube out of his pants pocket crushed it over the tomb as he had done with the first cube. His breath was becoming ragged and heavy with desperation and tears, and he wondered if he would be able to say what he wanted to say before the tears began to fall in earnest.

Light was sure L had been never been the type to like flowers. Sugar cubes were so much more personal.

"Sweet dreams, Ryuzaki," Light's murmur was choked by emotions and he turned around to walk away before it all became too much for him to bear – or had it already happened?

He walked briskly in the opposite direction of L's tomb as sorrow poured out of his eyes diluted in tears and drowned in sobs.

L was finally sleeping soundly after all those times Light had told him to go to sleep. Then, why did Light feel so miserable, lonely and guilty that L had finally heeded his suggestion? And why the hell was he feeling defeated if his will and his plan had prevailed?

Light did not stop his walking nor looked back until he was back at the cemetery gates. He looked down at his watch and cried even more bitterly at realizing how much time had passed since he had been standing alongside L's grave.

It had taken Light an hour and three minutes to reach the cemetery and twenty seven minutes to find L's grave. And he had only spent about seven minutes standing at L's resting place before he had turned to flee.

He had spent six minutes and forty seconds mourning L by his tomb, to be exact.

Six minutes and forty seconds – time enough to determine the details of his death. Wasn't that what he had been doing while he was standing there? Going over how L's heart had stopped beating thanks to Kira and how terrifying it had been to watch life seep out of him as Light held him limply in his arms, like a small child would hold a rag doll. Unearthing long-suppressed memories of the shock in L's face as reality sunk in and his heart stopped; memories of all L left behind, of all that could have been.

Disgusted with himself, Light looked down at his hands expecting to see them tainted with ink and the blood of those thousands judged by him, but all he saw were leftover sugar crystals clinging to his palms. The crystals hung to his skin just like the memory of L shrouded his mind.

Under the rays of the setting sun, the crystals twinkled and glimmered just like L's eyes had shined right before he closed them forever. Light sobbed dejectedly into his open palms. The crystals dissolved in the moisture of his eyes and Light's own tears tasted sweet upon his lips.

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**Author's Note:** I know, it's sad, but I got inspired. I think the next snippet will be about Naomi and Raye - it's half-written already. I don't know why I'm on a posting frenzy, but I am. Just enjoy it while it's still fresh. Who knows when I might post again.

Crap, I can't think of what else to say on my author's note that I wanted to say. Anyway, ask if you have any questions...or if not, I'll get even on the A/N of the the next chapter.

That's all for now. Ich liebe dich, y'all.

-Das Dale.

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